Saturday, 22 December 2012

Hitting a wall.


I have one new years resolution this year and it is one that I never thought I would have to make.  In 2013, I need to find my passion for music again. 

For some reason, second year at university is sucking the life out of me. I know that I am not the only one who feels like this on my course, a number of my course mates have said they feel exactly the same. Last year I felt excited about the number of operatunities there were in Birmingham and I got the usual buzz from performing in these different shows. 
Now it feels like I've done it all before and it's a job rather than anything else. 

It doesn't help that during Turandot and The Gondoliers I was really ill during the performance week. Whilst Turandot was manageable, for The Gondoliers I was finding myself warming up in the morning for two hours just to produce a sound. Although it couldn't be helped, I was upset by my performance. 
At the beginning of this term I have started with a new teacher who is very good. However, after starting with a new teacher for the third time, I'm fed up that I'm starting from scratch. Even though I know she is very good, my mind is doubting everything - why should this time be any different?
I love singing and I can't understand this feeling.  

I don't know. 
All I know is that I need to find my passion again.
Any suggestions are welcome. 

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